A "Bad State"

For the second straight year, my fate has spoken and I'm being transferred to my third school in three years. Along with moving schools, I have to move grades as well. I found this out two and a half weeks ago and it has been a rough two and a half weeks. I've tried really hard to think positively about it all and I have had many colleagues and commenters that have tried to help me look at the bright side, but as I keep using the excuse for everything to Dave, "I am in a bad state." I can't put it any better than that.

It is really hard in so many ways. I moved just the year before and moving IS NOT easy as a teacher, even moving to a different classroom is hard. It's like I am back at square one, for the second time.  I also haven't been able to build a stable foundation with a faculty and the parents. The parents have loved me at each school and they always hope I'm going to be there next year. It is really hard to build that rapport of parents, too. Many people have expressed their support to me about this unfortunate deal that has been handed to me which makes me feel better.

I even decided to have a sit-down with the assistant superintendent and stood up for myself. That's not like me! It didn't change anything, but I knew if I didn't let out my feelings to those that have thrown me around like a rag doll, I'd regret it. I was very professional but forward.

Today was the last day of school and I felt it pretty hard. I shed some tears and squeezed my little kiddos tight before they left. I feel very exhausted. It's a little different than my Epstein-Barr Virus exhaustion. It's more like a burned out exhaustion and you aren't suppose to feel that as a teacher until 25 years down the road! My heart has been broken and I can't do a whole lot about it but accept it and move forward.

Here are the little munchkins